Faith key to lasting marriage for Catholic-Lutheran couple |
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Written by LAURIE STEVENS BERTKE, Chronicle Writer
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Friday, 06 March 2009 09:08 |
NEW BAVARIA—Though they worship in different churches, Paul and Ramona Burkhart both see their shared Christian faith as a key ingredient in their marriage of 50 years.
The Catholic-Lutheran couple from New Bavaria celebrated their golden wedding anniversary last fall by renewing their vows during the annual diocesan Mass for couples celebrating jubilee anniversaries, which was held at Toledo Our Lady, Queen of the Most Holy Rosary Cathedral.
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Paul and Ramona Burkhart |
Over the past five decades, the Burkharts have remained steadfast members of their respective Christian communities: he belongs to New Bavaria Sacred Heart while she attends St. John’s Lutheran Church in Defiance. They admit there have been some challenges and sacrifices along the way, but Mr. Burkhart also believes the fact they are both serious Christians has made for a lasting marriage.
"Our strong faith definitely was the big factor in our commitment and the happy life we’ve had together all these years," agrees Mrs. Burkhart.
One decision she does recall struggling with after she fell in love with the Catholic boy next door in Defiance was whether she could agree to raise their children in the Catholic faith. Before the Second Vatican Council, that was the promise a non-Catholic had to make to marry a Catholic in the church.
"My parents thought the world of Paul but they were really concerned, to be sure, that I could live with the decision," recalls Mrs. Burkhart. "I would be going to church by myself without my family."
The couple actually stopped seeing one another for a short while as they struggled with the issue, but Mrs. Burkhart says they ultimately decided, "Our love was too great — we couldn’t live without each other, so I decided that the children would be raised in the Catholic Church."
The couple moved to New Bavaria after they were married in the parsonage at Defiance St. Mary on Nov. 29, 1958, and Mrs. Burkhart kept her promise as they went on to raise five children. Her husband recalls she faithfully prepared them in their Sunday best to attend Mass with him every week at Sacred Heart.
"It was a big sacrifice for her, and I realized that, and I’ve always appreciated that fact that she let me take the kids to church," says Mr. Burkhart.
Over the years, Mrs. Burkhart helped the children with their catechism lessons and attended special celebrations like first Communions and confirmations at Sacred Heart, but she remained active at her Lutheran church in Defiance.
"Each Sunday I would have to set aside money for two different envelopes, which most families don’t have," he chuckles.
Occasionally the children would ask why their mother did not go to church with them, and she would try to explain that she was raised in a different church with different beliefs and "when we got married the promise was made for them to go to church with their dad," she says.
Mrs. Burkhart admits that was difficult, but she explains, "I always thought it was really important to try to make the kids understand the way it was, and not try to pull them between the two churches. That would just add confusion, I would think."
Though they worshiped separately, the couple also found ways to support one another in their commitments to their respective Christian communities.
When she worked as the Sunday school secretary at St. John’s Lutheran, he helped her sort through the attendance records she brought home. Likewise, she has helped him keep track of his schedule as a lector and eucharistic minister at Sacred Heart for nearly four decades.
They make it a point to share bulletins and newspapers published by their faith communities, which Mrs. Burkhart says have sparked some "lively discussions."
The Burkharts also attribute the success of their marriage to other positive habits like praying at family meals, saying "I love you" every day, showing affection and spending plenty of time together as a family and as a couple.
"He still asks me out on dates and we’re hand-holders," says Mrs. Burkhart.
Her husband says it was rewarding to celebrate their 50th anniversary at the cathedral with all their children present, and he notes they celebrated their 25th anniversary similarly in a private ceremony at his wife’s Lutheran church.
"We’re blessed with our family," adds Mrs. Burkhart.
"What you put into raising your kids is how much you will get out of them," she says, recalling a saying used by her father. "I think that goes for marriage too ... how much effort and commitment you put into it is what you reap."
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 06 May 2009 09:09 |
